Sonora's Birth Story Raw and Real with lots of detail) All the photos will slowly be added later!
At 10:30 I went in for a *3rd* membrane sweep to try and coax labor into starting.
The first sweep was done by Rachell who recently joined the clinic and is also a nurse practitioner. The second sweep was done by Eileen. She does the non-stress tests and has YEARS of experience and tons of certifications too.
For this third sweep, Charlotte came and did it herself. Now I had heard some things about her membrane sweeps and... I was not led astray. She sure knows what she's doing! She was very thorough and did not mess around!! I was glad I used evening primrose oil judiciously throughout the third trimester.
Her sweep allowed me to experience several of the most intense contractions that I had ever felt up until that point. In fact, Charlotte said they seemed like 'transition level' contractions.
I was intimidated yet thankful for a brief little window into what I, naively, hoped to be experiencing as soon as humanely possible.
I had very small cramps throughout the rest of that day but nothing significantly different happened.
Things, however, started getting more intense at 2am that next morning; the morning of March 26th.
I woke up to the feeling of strong cramps in my uterus. These were no shock to me. I experienced several episodes over the past month of prodromal labor that, though painful and got my hopes up, sadly never progressed into active labor.
This time, I could still roll over and re-adjust... to the extent one can while being 2 days short of 41 weeks pregnant... and mostly fall back asleep.
6am rolled around the next morning and brought stronger and more regular contractions with it. They lasted most of the day and became much worse around 2pm.
I wasn't sure how regular and exact they needed to be but we finally went in to the birth center after calling and talking to Rachell and Melissa (my very sweet and amazing doula) around 8:45pm.
Some friends of ours (the Miles') were picking up their daughter from doing something with Kiana that day and it was fun to see them in the driveway very briefly as we headed out. They were so excited and it felt like a bit of a morale boosting send off. ☺️
The car ride was rough with my contractions, but not as excruciating as I was expecting. I think the contractions slowed down a little bit, but I was so relieved when we arrived at the birthing center and could move around again.
My biggest fear was that it was another episode of false labor and that things were going to stall out and quit after calling everyone in.
Things thankfully didn't stall out and it all officially began to happen!
Looking back, God was so gracious in His providence that night. All my favorite people ended up scheduled to be on call in the clinic and I didn't have any midwives that I didn't already know and feel comfortable with. (Rachell, Emily and my doula Melissa)



They got my IV antibiotics for GBS started and Justin began unloading our stuff from the car.

By this time my brain and thinking abilities had become pretty cloudy from the pain I was experiencing with each contraction. There isn't a lot I can recall in great detail, only that my birthing team purposefully put me in the most painful positions to "climb the mountain" and progress labor faster. I was all for this because I was pretty done with these contractions. Hours and hours went by.


Justin and Melissa were so faithful and sweet in getting me water, making sure I was eating. They were basically existing as my brain for me while I focused on getting through each contraction.
Melissa and Rachell guided me through the different positions that I labored in and kept track of how long I had been contracting in each position. Everyone helped me with breathing through each contraction and put pressure on my back, which was a lifesaver. Every so often Rachell would check how dilated I was and monitor Sonora's heartbeat.

Every contraction was ultra painful back labor. It felt like my pelvis with being ripped apart while air was being stolen out of my lungs. This went on for HOURS and HOURS until time melted together... words melted together... I started dreaming, not thinking clearly... not able to open my eyes or speak words. I couldn't THINK words. It was pain. Just pain. Ever and Only and Excruciating.
I threw up many times from the pain and pure exhaustion. There was also acid reflux so bad that I had to keep a washcloth next to my face and let the acid just spew out into it. For me that was a low point. I just drooled and spit into a cloth on all fours, barely conscious.

I don't know why or how I managed to get through it, but what felt like a lifetime later of moaning, intentional breathing, and surrendering, I finally began to feel the urge to push.
My contractions were much stronger, closer together and I just couldn't get a break... For a while they were back to back. I had no rest time in between.
Mentally I was teetering on the edge of something that felt like insanity. I knew this was a mind game and if I gave up it would all be over. I had to keep going, I had to cope. There was no alternative. I was fighting an epic battle to meet my baby.💕

As the urge to push became stronger my voice suddenly changed and the groanings turned into an unexplainable, deep, gutteral roar. I became like some kind of wild animal...
My only thought in those moments was an instruction to my body: "Get the baby out.
Whatever it takes, you (this body) and I, make it happen. Right here, Right now. Whatever it takes."
Earlier in labor, Mom came into the bathroom while I was laboring on the toilet and said something to that same effect. I had latched onto that thought with every ounce of strength I had left and I made it my entire life for those few minutes.
I got in the tub and soon pushed harder and more intensely than anything else I knew. Maybe a bit like pushing a car with the parking brake on.

Being able to push came as a welcome relief after 24 hours of surrendering and opening up to contractions. Now I could actually do something to in a way 'fight' the pain by pushing out against it.
That pressure gave way to stinging and sharp ripping sensations the more I pushed. I've heard the ring of fire described by many people, but this wasn't a firey feeling at all. 😅
I didn't care though. I reeled from the sharp ripping and kept on pushing harder. Like a bull in a China shop I powered through that stinging. I didn't have much of a choice though. My body was far stronger than I was... and it had taken over. It was doing its own thing now. So I could either fight it...or... help it & make the pain go away faster. I picked the latter option.
I could feel Sonora coming down. Her head was closer and closer to coming out, yet as soon as I stopped pushing she would get sucked back up. Talk about frustrating!
I just needed one REALLY BIG push to stretch her head all the way down and out.
A push or two later and Rachell revealed that the head was almost out and I would be able to feel baby's head if I reached down. What an amazing, yet totally strange and mindblowing feeling!
I felt slimy hair... and a LOT of it!
At this point I just wanted her out and was now more determined than ever to make that happen.
A few pushes later and her head popped out! There was a momentary break from both the stinging and the contractions.
They told me to push. I was in between a contraction, but I needed to get the rest of baby girl out.
Then Rachelle and Emily suddenly warned me that I needed to stop pushing if I could and ease her out slowly. (I would soon find out the reason for this) At that moment it took everything within me to resist pushing. My body was pushing baby out on its own... now I needed to stop that and slow it down as quickly as possible to keep from ripping myself apart! Talk about a 180!


I gasped for breath and took fast short breaths instead.
Unbeknownst to any of us, Sonora's right arm was stuck up by her face, causing her to take up a much greater space in the borth canal. All along it was her pointy elbow that give me such horrible 'back labor.' The midwives saw her hand and elbow positioning as her head was being delivered and that's why they needed me to stop and ease into it slowly.
Delivering her body was even more difficult than her head was, as her positioning made her shoulders and chest area much larger than usual. I felt myself tear as her elbow ripped right through, splitting my perineum and giving me a second degree tear...
I hadn't pushed long enough for the tissues to naturally go numb, so I felt everything. 😅
The rest of her came out quick and easily after that!
She was finally out!
She was handed to me and I pulled her up out of the water and onto my chest. As I lifted her up there was a pop and blood splatted everywhere.



From my point of view it looked like her umbilical cord exploded. Indeed it had ripped apart and completely disconnected her from the placenta. Her end was not clamped however, so her blood came spurting out as well. In an instant it was grabbed and clamped so baby girl didn't loose any more blood.
I grabbed my end of the ruptured cord and held it with one hand. I dont remember if it was clamped off or not.
I probably should have been more horrified than I was/am, but in that moment it all happened so quickly that I barely remember it. I was just so overjoyed and overwhelmed with emotion at meeting Sonora for the first time. I was shaking and laughing and crying all at the same time. I kept telling her "Good job! You did it!" And "We did it baby!"

They had me push another time to deliver the placenta. I was a bit scared it would hurt, but it didn't at all, even with my tear!
They placed my placenta in a bowl so we could look at it later.

We laid in the tub against Justin for a little bit doing skin to skin and then moved to the bed as the water looked like solid blood. We didn't want to make things any harder on my amazingly strong hubby either! Especially since he was able to make it through the birth without fainting or throwing up at the sight of blood... now he was sitting in a tub of it!
I couldn't keep my eyes off the beautiful, bright-eyed, little girl staring back at me.


Melissa got some of my colostrum and wiped it on Sonora's tongue. That helped her perk up a bit! It had been about 45 minutes since her birth and it was time to get her latched on.
Boom! First try! Everything went off without a hitch. Sonora was a pro from the beginning, and man did she have a strong suck!

My uterus was cramping up big time. It felt more like contractions honestly. I had to take slow breaths and close my eyes!
Then came the gush... which happened several times during each subsequent nursing session for about a week. 😅
Apparently nursing makes your uterus contract big time!
Rachell then had to massage my uterus... and I say massage loosely. More like being punched in the gut over and over with a meat grinder. Intestinal soup! 😭😂
My uterus had already shrunk down to half of what it was before nursing.
I was able to get a quick shower to rinse off all the blood. It was nice to get the blood off even though I was so cold and shaky that it wasn’t super comfortable.
I got dressed in a clean shirt and headed back to hold and nurse Sonora.
Now it was time for the stitches... my least favorite part from the whole experience. It was so scary and painful (even with the numbing spray!) Emily did a great job stitching me up though!
Then came time for Sonora's first lookover/checkup. Rachelle checked everything; her head circumference, weight, height, proper genitalia formation, her suck, soft pallate, grip strength, baby reflexes etc... then came the heel stick and vitamin K shot. I breastfed her for this so it wouldn't hurt so much.






Justin got to be the one to dress her for the first time. (Both her and his first time-dressing a baby and being dressed!)
Soon everyone came in and met Sonora. They all held her and took pictures. We looked at my placenta and decided not to keep it- much to Kiana's disappointment!

By this time my body was fading fast. My mind was still wide awake and I had a hard time falling asleep, but my body really appreciated a few hours of rest.
Everyone headded home and the midwives helped other ladies in labor.

It was just the 3 of us. 🥰💗
We slept for a while then Justin started loading stuff into the car.
Emily gave us some instructions, paperwork and came out to check the carseat setup.

We loaded up Sonora, stuck me in the backseat with her and headed home. It was around 11pm when we got home. I crashed hard, but I was still super paranoid about every little squeak and sound baby girl made!

It was a wonderful, exhausting, life changing day!
Both a baby and a mother were born. 💗🥰
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